Le Blog d'Elsa de Romeu : Information alternative, pertinente & impertinente
Good people ruining relationships

8 ways Good people Invalidate their partners & Ruin relationships

” It’s funny how we ignore the obvious truth of how cowardly it is to pretend to be something we’re not, because we’re afraid of what others will think about the Real Us.
We are ACTUALLY BEING the very thing we’re afraid of, or accusing others of being,
when we put on our masks to hide our true & authentic thoughts & feelings.
To be sure, there ARE people who demonstrate a high level of stoicism & emotional consistency.
People who seem consistently steady, regardless of what’s happening around them.
People who are being authentically true to themselves amid their stoicism are awesome, & probably great behavior models to aspire to – because we probably shouldn’t let our emotions affect us as much as we do.
But in the interest of pragmatism, it’s pretty important to deal in reality.
In real life, almost nothing influences human behavior as much as our emotions do.
Just ask every successful marketing pro in world history ! ”
red flags deal breakers

Deal Breakers you should never Tolerate

“There are some lines that shouldn’t be crossed. Know when it’s time to negotiate & when it’s time to walk away.
Sometimes, we allow people that we care for to abuse us day-in & day-out.
Why ? Because we fail to realize the depth of our needs & to prioritize them appropriately.
Stop allowing your “better half” to push you over again & again.
Even though we might love someone more than we think we love ourselves, it does not give them free rein in our lives.
We need to stick up for our boundaries & to fight for what’s right for ourselves & our future wellbeing.
They play a core role in establishing secure & equitable relationships for ourselves.
This can often mean making hard decisions & ending commitments that once gave you purpose.
We don’t wake up one day & decide to let people push us around or take advantage.
It’s a behavior that’s learned from our environment(s) & the experiences that litter the road from our childhood to our here & now.
The sooner we understand these tendencies, the sooner we can take action to protect ourselves. ”
Ending a relationship

How to tell when it’s Time to End a Relationship

” My 1st marriage ended dramatically. I kissed my ex-husband goodbye in the morning & as soon as his car was out of sight, I started packing.
I worked quickly, fearing that he would return home before I could leave.
By the time our divorce was final, I had a new life, new friends, a new apartment & a renewed sense of hope for my future – something I had lost over the years of our marriage.
The day I locked that door behind me, there was nothing but anger & hatred left in my heart for him.
I had stayed far too long at the dance & because I had not been able to cut ties earlier, what was once merely dysfunctional had become a dangerous & tricky situation.
Stealth became a necessary component of my exit strategy.
My ex-husband was emotionally, mentally, physically & sexually abusive.
He would have never just let me walk away.
During our marriage, I had drawn many lines in the sand & he had proceeded to cross every single one.
I couldn’t give up that easy. I was so ashamed of failing at my marriage that I allowed my dignity to be stripped away, one crossed line at a time.
I stayed until my hatred of him made leaving the kindest thing I could do for either of us.
And when I left, I didn’t look back. I was done.
Sometimes there is just gradual chipping away of love by one thoughtless action after another,
until one day you wake up & realize that you don’t care.
You don’t hate them. You wish them no harm.
It’s just that you don’t care if they come home or not. ”
Childhood Emotional neglect abuse

Signs that you were Emotionally Neglected or Abused as a child

” Childhood is a crucial time & one in which we form our defining ideas on everything from romantic love to happiness.
Though we aren’t responsible for the complex damage done to us by emotionally abusive or neglectful parents,
we are responsible for healing that damage in our adult lives, so we can find happiness for ourselves.
That comes with a big dose of brutal self-acceptance, however,
& committing to undoing the damage that’s been years in the making.
We can find joy after waking up from an emotionally abusive childhood, but only when we accept both who we are & who we want to be.
Emotional Neglect occurs when our caretakers fail to appropriately respond to our emotional needs at critical stages in our development.
While child abuse is a very intentional act, emotional neglect generally occurs out of ignorance or as the result of an extreme form of narcissism.
It’s a failure to act & respond to a child’s emotional needs, & it’s an unwillingness to do the emotional work it takes to be an adequate parent.
Having an inability to rely on others or an over-the-top inner-critic that blames you for everything isn’t normal.
It’s more commonly a sign that you’re living with the idea that you’re unlovable,
an erroneous idea that was implanted in your head by a parent that didn’t live up to their responsibilities to you. ”
Répercussions Psychologiques Port du Masque Enfants Adolescents

Répercussions Psychologiques de la politique sanitaire sur les Enfants & les Adolescents

“Je me suis étonnée, à la rentrée scolaire, du peu de réactions de la part des lycéens & collégiens face au totalitarisme sanitaire actuel.
L’adolescence rimant habituellement avec désobéissance & opposition, je m’étais attendue à davantage de manifestations de leur part,
alors qu’il semble que la majorité se plie assez docilement aux nouvelles exigences du masque & des contrôles policiers à l’entrée des établissements quand ce n’est pas dans les bus scolaires,
de la «distanciation sociale», de l’interdiction de se promener à visage découvert, de se rassembler, de respirer librement…
La vivacité & la capacité à se mobiliser des ados serait-elle amoindrie par les heures passées sur Tik tok ou sur des jeux vidéos ?
Comme tous les psychologues travaillant avec des enfants victimes de traumatismes ou avec les adultes qu’ils sont devenus, je connais le phénomène de sidération psychique.
La sidération psychique est un ensemble de réactions neurobiologiques du cerveau face à une situation de violence.
Autrement dit, la sidération est une sorte de panne du cerveau face à un événement ingérable pour ce dernier.
Les adultes censés les protéger, les éduquer ou les instruire, sont ceux qui leur disent que « pour leur bien » – comme disait Alice Miller – & pour protéger leurs grands-parents, ils doivent, à partir de 11 ans, porter un masque ;
or celui-ci les fatigue, les rend somnolents, donne à certains des maux de tête, des migraines & des nausées,
les empêche de se concentrer & les asphyxie de semaine en semaine.
& ils subissent toutes ces mesures alors que l’on sait actuellement qu’ils ne sont que très rarement malades & très peu vecteurs de contamination d’un virus qui ne fait aujourd’hui que peu de morts.”
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