Elsa de Romeu blog vérité libre géopolitique
Ending a relationship

How to tell when it’s Time to End a Relationship
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” My 1st marriage ended dramatically. I kissed my ex-husband goodbye in the morning & as soon as his car was out of sight, I started packing.
I worked quickly, fearing that he would return home before I could leave.
By the time our divorce was final, I had a new life, new friends, a new apartment & a renewed sense of hope for my future – something I had lost over the years of our marriage.
The day I locked that door behind me, there was nothing but anger & hatred left in my heart for him.
I had stayed far too long at the dance & because I had not been able to cut ties earlier, what was once merely dysfunctional had become a dangerous & tricky situation.
Stealth became a necessary component of my exit strategy.
My ex-husband was emotionally, mentally, physically & sexually abusive.
He would have never just let me walk away.
During our marriage, I had drawn many lines in the sand & he had proceeded to cross every single one.
I couldn’t give up that easy. I was so ashamed of failing at my marriage that I allowed my dignity to be stripped away, one crossed line at a time.
I stayed until my hatred of him made leaving the kindest thing I could do for either of us.
And when I left, I didn’t look back. I was done.
Sometimes there is just gradual chipping away of love by one thoughtless action after another,
until one day you wake up & realize that you don’t care.
You don’t hate them. You wish them no harm.
It’s just that you don’t care if they come home or not. ”
Childhood Emotional neglect abuse

Signs that you were Emotionally Neglected or Abused as a child
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” Childhood is a crucial time & one in which we form our defining ideas on everything from romantic love to happiness.
Though we aren’t responsible for the complex damage done to us by emotionally abusive or neglectful parents,
we are responsible for healing that damage in our adult lives, so we can find happiness for ourselves.
That comes with a big dose of brutal self-acceptance, however,
& committing to undoing the damage that’s been years in the making.
We can find joy after waking up from an emotionally abusive childhood, but only when we accept both who we are & who we want to be.
Emotional Neglect occurs when our caretakers fail to appropriately respond to our emotional needs at critical stages in our development.
While child abuse is a very intentional act, emotional neglect generally occurs out of ignorance or as the result of an extreme form of narcissism.
It’s a failure to act & respond to a child’s emotional needs, & it’s an unwillingness to do the emotional work it takes to be an adequate parent.
Having an inability to rely on others or an over-the-top inner-critic that blames you for everything isn’t normal.
It’s more commonly a sign that you’re living with the idea that you’re unlovable,
an erroneous idea that was implanted in your head by a parent that didn’t live up to their responsibilities to you. ”
Love

You’re not Really in Love with them –
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” We’ve been sold a lot of romantic visions of love, & while this might be the way things play out for some people — it’s not as common as we like to think.
Relationships are hard. Building a life with someone else is complicated.
Even when you think you’ve found the right person, the future doesn’t always play out that way.
Even when you believe in your heart that you love someone, you may not actually be in love with them.
Part of growing up is learning to question your emotions.
Part of building better, stronger relationships requires us to be more honest with ourselves & the people we care for.
Loving someone isn’t the same as being in love, even if it’s still valuable.
Why settle for fleeting feelings & self-centered conflict when we could have something that lasts the inevitable test of time ?
All relationships require effort, but they shouldn’t require total exhaustion or a depletion of self.
The relationship that requires a constant struggle is not one based on love.
It’s one based on forced standards & false perceptions. ”