Le Blog d'Elsa de Romeu : Information alternative, pertinente & impertinente
red flags deal breakers

Deal Breakers you should never Tolerate

“There are some lines that shouldn’t be crossed. Know when it’s time to negotiate & when it’s time to walk away.
Sometimes, we allow people that we care for to abuse us day-in & day-out.
Why ? Because we fail to realize the depth of our needs & to prioritize them appropriately.
Stop allowing your “better half” to push you over again & again.
Even though we might love someone more than we think we love ourselves, it does not give them free rein in our lives.
We need to stick up for our boundaries & to fight for what’s right for ourselves & our future wellbeing.
They play a core role in establishing secure & equitable relationships for ourselves.
This can often mean making hard decisions & ending commitments that once gave you purpose.
We don’t wake up one day & decide to let people push us around or take advantage.
It’s a behavior that’s learned from our environment(s) & the experiences that litter the road from our childhood to our here & now.
The sooner we understand these tendencies, the sooner we can take action to protect ourselves. ”
Childhood Emotional neglect abuse

Signs that you were Emotionally Neglected or Abused as a child

” Childhood is a crucial time & one in which we form our defining ideas on everything from romantic love to happiness.
Though we aren’t responsible for the complex damage done to us by emotionally abusive or neglectful parents,
we are responsible for healing that damage in our adult lives, so we can find happiness for ourselves.
That comes with a big dose of brutal self-acceptance, however,
& committing to undoing the damage that’s been years in the making.
We can find joy after waking up from an emotionally abusive childhood, but only when we accept both who we are & who we want to be.
Emotional Neglect occurs when our caretakers fail to appropriately respond to our emotional needs at critical stages in our development.
While child abuse is a very intentional act, emotional neglect generally occurs out of ignorance or as the result of an extreme form of narcissism.
It’s a failure to act & respond to a child’s emotional needs, & it’s an unwillingness to do the emotional work it takes to be an adequate parent.
Having an inability to rely on others or an over-the-top inner-critic that blames you for everything isn’t normal.
It’s more commonly a sign that you’re living with the idea that you’re unlovable,
an erroneous idea that was implanted in your head by a parent that didn’t live up to their responsibilities to you. ”
Being serious in love, or not

They’re not Serious about You and this is How you can tell

” No matter how much we love someone, it cannot forever blind us to the harsh realities of our relationships.
It’s up to us to identify the warning signs & then take the necessary action that’s needed to protect our happiness & wellbeing.
We deserve to have a love that is stable, equitable & without radical conditions.
Though someone might promise this to us, their actions can speak dramatically different things when they refuse to show up for us, or share their lives with us.
Addressing the doubts we have takes courage, but it also requires some introspection.
Before we approach someone about their feelings for us, we need to make sure we realize the full truth of our feelings for them.
Letting someone down or ending things is never easy,
so some partners will happily carry on in a lie in order to avoid the inevitable discomfort.
Whether your partner is truly serious about you or not,
it’s important that you address your doubts with them & get to the root of the truth.
You cannot build a happy or stable relationship on a shaky foundation.
Brace yourself & take action to find the truth.
Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with this person,
or are they the one you pictured spending forever with ?
Question how you truly feel about your relationship & compare it against what you really want for your eternity, before you put in more effort that you need to. ”

The Relationship Doubts you should never ignore

” No matter who you are & how long your relationship has withstood the tests of time – you’ve confronted doubts at one point or another in your partnership.
Doubts are a natural part of the process when it comes to our romantic relationships,
but some are more threatening to our peace of mind & wellbeing than others.
When we are confronted with doubts, we have to address them & be honest about where they take their roots.
Running from our doubts leaves us nowhere but scared, broken & holding on to something that might not be quite right for us.
Though doubts are normal & come with the seasons of our relationships, some doubts are also serious red-flags that must be dealt with in order to maintain & safeguard our inner peace & long-term wellbeing.
In order to resolve our doubts we have to honestly & brutally confront them.
This doesn’t just mean confronting our partners.
It means confronting ourselves & the baggage that we’re carrying, as well as the things that we want from this life & our partnerships.
Addressing these doubts can be a transformative moment for both you & your partner.
Stop running from the questions & reach for understanding.
It’s the only way to find your way to the truth you both need to recognize.”

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