Étiquette : uncomfortable feelings

“People-pleasing is about manipulation & deception, and it’s not healthy in any relationship.
People-pleasing is extremely damaging because it’s based in dishonesty.
In turn, it hampers true intimacy.
The clinical term is sociotropy. Sociotropy is defined as “a person’s tendency to place an inordinate value on relationships over personal independence that will leave them vulnerable to depression in the response to a loss of relationships.”
People-pleasers usually have an underlying self-esteem/self-worth issue that makes them feel the need to hide their beliefs & feelings from others,
or assume they are “not worthy” enough to be shared.
They frequently say Yes when they should say No.
They try to avoid conflict as much as possible because they don’t want to/don’t like to deal with the uncomfortable feelings of others.
They can also often be great chameleons, blending into any social environ.
Lastly, they will go to great lengths to keep others happy, which usually means they resort to dishonesty & deception.
People-pleasing was one of my many survival tools growing up.
“People-pleasers have a history of maltreatment & somewhere along the way, they decided that their best hope for better treatment was to try to please the people who mistreated them.”