What a Healthy Relationship looks like

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” I came across this Tik Tok video and couldn’t help but smile. The video is literally my definition of #couplegoals. I felt my heart flutter.

People look for different things in a relationship. Some are in it for love, others for security. Personally, I love the friendship that you build with your partner.

What makes a couple look like they enjoy a healthy relationship?

My expertise is derived from being a Psychology nerd, past toxic relationships that I learned from, and a decade of a loving relationship with my spouse.

Here are 6 signs of what a healthy relationship looks like:

1. They are 2 individuals in 1 relationship

In order to be able to love and receive love, you have to love yourself first.

Loving yourself in a sense that you are independent. You know how to cheer yourself up, look after yourself, explore your hobbies and interests, spend time with your own circle of friends.

Often times, you see someone getting lost in their relationship. Sure, they are happy with their partner — but they’ve lost their friends, and their entire world revolves around their partner. When this happens, you sometimes have an imbalance in a relationship. One party feels like they worship the other, and the other one feels suffocated.

“… to be in any sort of relationship where you do not express yourself, simply to keep the peace, is a relationship ruled by one person and will never be balanced or healthy.” — Bronnie Ware

When you are an individual in a relationship, you are capable of taking care of yourself, your partner, and even your family. You have set higher standards for yourself and your partner. The respect is unlimited. You inspire each other to reach greater heights.

2. They keep the sexy alive

Just because a couple have been together for more than a year or so, it doesn’t mean chivalry should be dead. Healthy relationships add romantic spices to their hot pot.

There should be a significant difference between living with your partner as opposed to living with a roommate.

The way they dance together in the living room or spend their nights engrossed in a deep loving conversation, discovering their wildest dreams together.

A Psychology study published in Personal Relationships examined more than a hundred emerging adults and their relationships. The study suggested that couples that engage in romantic gestures are often associated with healthier decision making, greater satisfaction, and fewer levels of anxiety or depression.

As cheesy as this sounds — but just the look in each other’s eyes can prove a couple’s relentless chemistry.

3. They are both comfortable… but not too comfortable

A healthy relationship understands the value of discomfort. Your learning curve as a couple is tested when you try different things or face difficult scenarios.

Many couples’ go-to date nights consist of Netflix and chill these days. Watching Netflix is easy. It doesn’t devote any time towards strengthening your relationship. Comfortable doesn’t translate to effortless.

Healthy relationships understand that there is value in exploring yourselves as a couple. Long romantic walks, candlelight dinners, coffee dates, burger nights — there are countless ways to spend time together that doesn’t involve Netflix.

It’s called quality time for a reason, right? When couples get out of their comfort zone every once in a while, they learn and share a deeper connection. They are committed to enjoying everyday of their lives together.

4. They communicate with kindness

It’s ok to ask partners for favors. They would probably do it in a heartbeat. However, it’s another thing to almost expect them to serve you all the time.

Healthy relationships require a balance in emotional and physical responsibility.

Couples in healthy relationships recognize the importance of empathy and compassion. For instance, if a partner feels too tired to make a cup of coffee one day, the other one attempts to help out.

According to psychologists Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Gottman, kindness is said to be a key factor to any loving marriage.

The most challenging time for any couple to express kindness is certainly during a misunderstanding. This is when it becomes most important to communicate with kindness to save the relationship from irrevocable impairment.

Healthy relationships CHOOSE to communicate with kindness even in the most difficult times.

With kindness, couples show more affection and appreciation towards each other. Their hearts are constantly filled with gratitude knowing they have each other.

5. They laugh… a lot

Everyone needs a little humor in their lives. Communicating with a bit of humor can go a long way.

Healthy relationships can look back at arguments and make fun of it without holding onto harsh grudges.

Couples in healthy relationships don’t take mistakes too seriously. Unless infidelity is involved, most arguments can be labeled as silly.

To exemplify, arguing over household chores, which restaurant to go to, forgetting a birthday or anniversary — it doesn’t justify wasting your energy over. Healthy relationships understand not to “sweat the small stuff”.

6. They act as a team

They’ve got each others’ backs. Just like best friends, a healthy romantic relationship is glowing from boundless support.

No one dares to talk sh*t about you in front of your partner. Healthy relationships take pride in showing off that their partner is their number 1 priority.

Couples in healthy relationships are devoted to each other. They take the time to listen and grow side by side as a team. There is no room to doubt trust. They feel confident and secure about each other.

Even in terms of decision-making, couples in healthy relationships consult each other.

When something good or bad happens, they are always the first ones to know. They can rely on each other at any given moment, 100%.

With all things considered, there is no single way to love in a relationship. However, the fundamentals are clear.

Independence, romance, trust, kindness in communication, respect, compassion, commitment, and support, all serve as essential elements to a healthy relationship.

Any healthy relationship requires a bountiful effort from both parties. Being together for a while does not justify the lack of romance. A couple in a healthy relationship recognizes the importance of investing their time and emotions to maintain a loving relationship. “

Source : https://medium.com/hello-love/what-a-healthy-relationship-looks-like-b17c2e3ab969