Good people ruining relationships

8 ways Good people Invalidate their partners & Ruin relationships

” It’s funny how we ignore the obvious truth of how cowardly it is to pretend to be something we’re not, because we’re afraid of what others will think about the Real Us.
We are ACTUALLY BEING the very thing we’re afraid of, or accusing others of being,
when we put on our masks to hide our true & authentic thoughts & feelings.
To be sure, there ARE people who demonstrate a high level of stoicism & emotional consistency.
People who seem consistently steady, regardless of what’s happening around them.
People who are being authentically true to themselves amid their stoicism are awesome, & probably great behavior models to aspire to – because we probably shouldn’t let our emotions affect us as much as we do.
But in the interest of pragmatism, it’s pretty important to deal in reality.
In real life, almost nothing influences human behavior as much as our emotions do.
Just ask every successful marketing pro in world history ! ”
People pleasing Love relationship

If you want a Real Relationship, Stop being a People-Pleaser

“People-pleasing is about manipulation & deception, and it’s not healthy in any relationship.
People-pleasing is extremely damaging because it’s based in dishonesty.
In turn, it hampers true intimacy.
The clinical term is sociotropy. Sociotropy is defined as “a person’s tendency to place an inordinate value on relationships over personal independence that will leave them vulnerable to depression in the response to a loss of relationships.”
People-pleasers usually have an underlying self-esteem/self-worth issue that makes them feel the need to hide their beliefs & feelings from others,
or assume they are “not worthy” enough to be shared.
They frequently say Yes when they should say No.
They try to avoid conflict as much as possible because they don’t want to/don’t like to deal with the uncomfortable feelings of others.
They can also often be great chameleons, blending into any social environ.
Lastly, they will go to great lengths to keep others happy, which usually means they resort to dishonesty & deception.
People-pleasing was one of my many survival tools growing up.
“People-pleasers have a history of maltreatment & somewhere along the way, they decided that their best hope for better treatment was to try to please the people who mistreated them.”
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