Le Blog d'Elsa de Romeu : Information alternative, pertinente & impertinente
red flags deal breakers

Deal Breakers you should never Tolerate

“There are some lines that shouldn’t be crossed. Know when it’s time to negotiate & when it’s time to walk away.
Sometimes, we allow people that we care for to abuse us day-in & day-out.
Why ? Because we fail to realize the depth of our needs & to prioritize them appropriately.
Stop allowing your “better half” to push you over again & again.
Even though we might love someone more than we think we love ourselves, it does not give them free rein in our lives.
We need to stick up for our boundaries & to fight for what’s right for ourselves & our future wellbeing.
They play a core role in establishing secure & equitable relationships for ourselves.
This can often mean making hard decisions & ending commitments that once gave you purpose.
We don’t wake up one day & decide to let people push us around or take advantage.
It’s a behavior that’s learned from our environment(s) & the experiences that litter the road from our childhood to our here & now.
The sooner we understand these tendencies, the sooner we can take action to protect ourselves. ”
Ending a relationship

How to tell when it’s Time to End a Relationship

” My 1st marriage ended dramatically. I kissed my ex-husband goodbye in the morning & as soon as his car was out of sight, I started packing.
I worked quickly, fearing that he would return home before I could leave.
By the time our divorce was final, I had a new life, new friends, a new apartment & a renewed sense of hope for my future – something I had lost over the years of our marriage.
The day I locked that door behind me, there was nothing but anger & hatred left in my heart for him.
I had stayed far too long at the dance & because I had not been able to cut ties earlier, what was once merely dysfunctional had become a dangerous & tricky situation.
Stealth became a necessary component of my exit strategy.
My ex-husband was emotionally, mentally, physically & sexually abusive.
He would have never just let me walk away.
During our marriage, I had drawn many lines in the sand & he had proceeded to cross every single one.
I couldn’t give up that easy. I was so ashamed of failing at my marriage that I allowed my dignity to be stripped away, one crossed line at a time.
I stayed until my hatred of him made leaving the kindest thing I could do for either of us.
And when I left, I didn’t look back. I was done.
Sometimes there is just gradual chipping away of love by one thoughtless action after another,
until one day you wake up & realize that you don’t care.
You don’t hate them. You wish them no harm.
It’s just that you don’t care if they come home or not. ”
Being serious in love, or not

They’re not Serious about You and this is How you can tell

” No matter how much we love someone, it cannot forever blind us to the harsh realities of our relationships.
It’s up to us to identify the warning signs & then take the necessary action that’s needed to protect our happiness & wellbeing.
We deserve to have a love that is stable, equitable & without radical conditions.
Though someone might promise this to us, their actions can speak dramatically different things when they refuse to show up for us, or share their lives with us.
Addressing the doubts we have takes courage, but it also requires some introspection.
Before we approach someone about their feelings for us, we need to make sure we realize the full truth of our feelings for them.
Letting someone down or ending things is never easy,
so some partners will happily carry on in a lie in order to avoid the inevitable discomfort.
Whether your partner is truly serious about you or not,
it’s important that you address your doubts with them & get to the root of the truth.
You cannot build a happy or stable relationship on a shaky foundation.
Brace yourself & take action to find the truth.
Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with this person,
or are they the one you pictured spending forever with ?
Question how you truly feel about your relationship & compare it against what you really want for your eternity, before you put in more effort that you need to. ”
Romantic Relationship

One thing you cannot change in Relationships

” “Every next level of your life will demand a different you.”
How much did you change the last ten years?
Do not think about your outward appearance, your job or your home.
Think about your personality, preferences & values.
You know your partner better after 5 years of relationship than after only 1 year.
However, it will be always impossible for you tell how your partner will change in the next 5 years, no matter how long you are already living together.
The risk will always be there, even if you are together for over 20 years.
Who can ensure that you still fit together?
So, in my position it is not about how long I am already in a relationship with my girlfriend. It is about if she is worth it to take the risk (yes she is).
Life will always be about taking risks. You cannot live without risks.
But you have to be sure. Don’t be naive. You have to be sure that he or she loves you too & that this person is ready to take the same risk.
When you ask people what is really important in relationships they will tell you following words:
Trust, Honesty, Respect, Communication, Loyalty & Safety.
I completely agree. All those values are important for a good relationship but you will basically never have 100 % Safety. It is an illusion.
Real love makes people taking risk they were afraid of. It makes us leaving our comfort zone.
And this is beautiful about love. It helps us to forget what can happen in the worst case & puts our focus on the bright side of life. ”

Relationship-Doubts-in-love

The Relationship Doubts you should never ignore

” No matter who you are & how long your relationship has withstood the tests of time – you’ve confronted doubts at one point or another in your partnership.
Doubts are a natural part of the process when it comes to our romantic relationships,
but some are more threatening to our peace of mind & wellbeing than others.
When we are confronted with doubts, we have to address them & be honest about where they take their roots.
Running from our doubts leaves us nowhere but scared, broken & holding on to something that might not be quite right for us.
Though doubts are normal & come with the seasons of our relationships, some doubts are also serious red-flags that must be dealt with in order to maintain & safeguard our inner peace & long-term wellbeing.
In order to resolve our doubts we have to honestly & brutally confront them.
This doesn’t just mean confronting our partners.
It means confronting ourselves & the baggage that we’re carrying, as well as the things that we want from this life & our partnerships.
Addressing these doubts can be a transformative moment for both you & your partner.
Stop running from the questions & reach for understanding.
It’s the only way to find your way to the truth you both need to recognize.”
being falling in love

The Unmissable Signs someone is falling for you

” Falling for someone new is easy to do. Expressing ourselves is a challenge.
From subtle glances, to a natural flow of communication – there are so many ways we tell someone that we’re really growing to care for them.
Often, though, we rely on these signs alone & forget to express ourselves outright with words.
Do you find yourself talking on the phone for hours ?
Or going out of your way to help one another ?
When we fall for someone, we can’t help but to put ourselves out there & extend ourselves toward them.
Noticing these signs, you have to take action or risk losing that relationship altogether.
If someone in your life has fallen for you, you need to stop running from the truth.
Whether you plan on building a relationship or maintaining the friendship you share, you’ve got to do some self-exploration & take some committed action.
By leaving yourselves in limbo, you’ll find the foundations of your current relationship crumbling in awkwardness & tension.
You both have to embrace your feelings honestly, then bring them to the surface with one another candidly.
So many of us undervalue the importance of natural chemistry & overlook it in the people closest to us.
This chemistry occurs when we just fit right in with someone. ”
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